It’s been a while in the making but I finally have to bring up the subject of personal relationship, also known as hibernation to my gaming. I’ve had my fair share of intimate relationships and for the majority of them I’ve felt that they went well. Two of them went so far as to get to the point of marriage. Needless to say, they haven’t been the longest lasting relationships I’ve had in my life. Thinking over it all just makes me wonder one thing: Is it really worth it to turn away from your passions for the sake of a relationship?

As I think into my past I almost always go back to my core group, the four of us guys that would game together. Thinking about where we all are now, I know one has been married for close to a decade after meeting his wife while online RPing (and let’s just say it wasn’t Everquest), one is married, divorced and now dating again, while the third has been single the entire time. Honestly, back in the day, I had expected myself to be the first married and lead a normal life but now I look back and realize that the ‘normal’ life is just the illusion you make it to be. I see that the life that I was striving for was just the candy coated illusion I was giving myself. And for what…. at this point, nothing!

From this point forward I’m going to lead my life towards striving to have personal relationships that have meaning to me. In the decade plus since I feel like I’ve left the gaming community, I can really see and feel that I’ve turned my back on my real existence, the gaming, the roleplaying, everything, and settled for what I though was ‘normal’. Now, I don’t want anyone to feel that I’m leaving this post as a rant against marriage or long-term relationship. This is more of a cautionary tale that should leave you thinking this: Your life is what you make of it, how you want it to be. Changing for another person is living your life for another person but if you don’t live for yourself, then what’s the point?